In My Soul, Raising Teens, Raising Tots

Fill my {Starbucks} Cup

Good morning ladies!  Good morning Moms!

From this quiet 5am spot I found on my porch this morning (sprinklers running, cars in the distance racing off to work, my teenagers alarm going off…) I’m writing to you.  And if you are up at 5am (or earlier, or off and on through the night), then you are probably tired and need a quiet spot too.

Dr. Tom Bradberry shared at a conference I recently attended (Author of Emotional IQ 2.0) that in order to get the rest we need we need to do at least 3 things.

  1. starbucks_coffeestop taking sleep aids (fine for me….but I know so many who take them including my husband)
  2. no caffeine after noon (hahahahahaha, I’m still laughing and right after that segment (about 3pm) I went and got a caramel macchiato)
  3. no blue lights before bed (iPhone, Pinterest, Facebook, catching up on my DVR, Jimmy Fallon….what?) Who IS THIS GUY?

He must be smart, so maybe I’ll try this out sometime, but for now—when I ran around all day long and can’t get my workout in until 7:30/8pm, and the only time I can choose what’s on the TV is in the evening, and I NEED to know what everyone did all afternoon or had for dinner- I’m going to have to just be tired I guess.

Isn’t that the constant state of Moms?  When I had Kai at 23, a lot came onto my plate at once—and I was tired.  Chasing a toddler and keeping up with the ever changing (dangerous, scary, wide open) world for my teen at 37, I’m tired.

At this same conference, the very 1st speaker (Bill Hybels) spoke on viewing life through different lenses.  The very 1st lense was your passion lense.  Several years ago, we were in the car driving home.  I’d gotten super excited about some idea…or maybe a trip or something, I can’t recall.  My husband—who doesn’t share feelings or really WORDS in general very often- said something I’ll never forget.  “You are definitely very passionate”.  Bring on my lenses! I can be passionately in love, passionately excited, passionately focused or passionately angry—that moment revealed a true observation by someone who lives day in and day out with me; I had a new level of self-awareness.

Through the years, I find myself having a hard time focusing.  I lose interest, I struggle to complete things—that’s part of where #AdoredChaos came from—it’s not just chasing my kids.  As I’ve worked to learn more about my strengths, my personality, what will make me be a better wife, mom, friend, entrepreneur, team player, leader, etc., I found peace in learning that if I surround myself with the people who have opposite strengths from me, the projects can be completed, and I can stay energized to remain part of the team completing it. (sometimes this includes cleaning the house and keeping meals coming day after day, week after week….).  But I still found myself depleted at times.  Overwhelmed with not being able to solve the problems women were sharing with me, tired of the mundane and then frustrated with myself because I wasn’t completing goals I’d set—and then couldn’t even say were goals I wanted in the 1st place.  I WAS A MESS…and sometimes I still am…I’m deep in the middle of this phase right now.  And then Bill shared that your passion bucket has to be filled.

STOP.  That’s it!!  My PASSION BUCKET can get low….and even empty? It’s NORMAL?  It happens to him and so many other leaders and “Passion People” too?! And when it’s filled I can focus, make progress and know where I’m headed.  Alright! So, on to find the magic filler for my bucket!
As timing often has it, I just read this in the devotional I’m reading called “Unshakeable Moms” and I shared on Facebook “to the tired moms out there”:

“Jesus carried more weight on his shoulder than any of us can ever imagine.  Did He run to Starbucks or his chocolate stash at the end of a long day because that was the only way he could get by? No, He ran to the arms of His father.  We can learn a lot from His example of where our refueling comes from.”

Now-  I’ve certainly called up my BFF and said, “I need a Target run and a Starbucks- wanna go?” and escaped for a little bit.  And what woman doesn’t have her “chocolate stash”?  We ALL DO IT.  Please don’t deny yourself those luxuries.

The reminder here is that these can be like “mini-vacations”—and if you are the mom of a toddler or ever have been, you know that suddenly the grocery store, ALONE, is a vacation!- and they can refill your passion bucket.  Especially when you have funny, empathetic girlfriends involved.  We were created to live in community together so make sure yours is strong! But at the end of the day- and really at the start of it- the unconditional loving arms of our Heavenly Father is the place we should run to for refreshment, encouragement and conviction that we are living the life He intended and that we have the strength to keep going.  Raising kids, succeeding at work, supporting a friend through a tough time in her life—whatever it is, and maybe all of it, He designed each one of us for a purpose.  To better someone’s life, and to give us a rich one of our own.  He ADORES you.  He Created YOU.  Flaws and all, He loves you and in His arms, we’ll find the greatest source of comfort and energy.

Psalm 16:11 You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.


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