52 Weeks of Prayer For Our Daughters, Raising Teens

1:52~ Daughter

As I start Week 1 in praying over my children, Romans 12:12 is a great starting place.  JOY is my focus word of the year. Patience is not something that comes natural to me or my children.  Committing to being faithful in prayer is what this journey is all about.

Mom’s 5P Recipe for Patience Continue reading

In My Soul

Tears for Fears….and lots of sweat

I’m trying a new gym right now.  One of my commitments to myself through this season is that I will take care of me.  Today was my 3rd workout there and 2 of the 3 days I left, I couldn’t hold back the tears.

If you’d like to listen to “Shout” by Tears for Fears while you read this (which is what I’m listening to while I write), here’s a link on YouTube. I don’t even really know what this song is about…but it came to mind and it fits.  SHOUT! SHOUT! Let it all out!

I am trying to process day by day the transition that’s coming. Each “last”, which there have been lots of lately, brings me closer to the day I’m dreading.  The day Kai stops sleeping/waking/eating/messing up her room/playing with her brother/doing her makeup… here the majority of the time.  I know this.  I’m spending time in my thoughts, getting moving, laughing with friends, being intentional, and the tears are justified.  But leaving the gym? Really?

I pity anyone who saw me driving home.  I’m sweating, shaking because I exhausted my muscles, (maybe speeding a bit as I know Kelly is headed to work and I need to get home to Colt) and then to top it off, I can feel my face turning into an ugly cry.  Really??

Come on!  The workout, endorphins, they are supposed to help.  I guess in the moments of physical exhaustion, I don’t have the strength to hold it all in.  And Satan, he know JUST where and when to attack.  He’s sneaky like this.  You know I’m going to be authentic– here were my thoughts as I drove home:

You did this- you let her go.

Man it’s been a while since you’ve worked out- gross.  You look gross.  Why’d you let yourself go like that?  

No wonder your life isn’t what you want it to be.

Seriously.  How dare these creep into my head, these lies, as hard as I work to focus on the positives and trust in the Creator who ADORES me & knows the outcome of all this uncertainty. So, as I prep my chicken for later, I had to physically say truths out loud.

She’s a child of God.  He has a plan for her life, just like He has a plan for mine.

Yes, I put my family’s needs first, I’m tired, I like oreos- but I’m making changes.  Better, not best right now.  I’m not gross.  I won’t be gross.  Healthy steps each day (*Note to self, throw out the leftover oreos from last weekends party)

My life is just fine- and I know the areas where I need to work.  SHUT UP!

Shout, shout, let it all out.  Thank you Tears For Fears.  I am fearful.  I am trusting at the same time.  And I’m hurting.  And that isn’t going to just magically go away.  I wish I could do a certain number of burpees and Poof! I looked exactly the way I want, my fat % was in check and my BMI was perfect.  But it doesn’t work that way.  And this season is going to take hard work too. And consistency.  And lots of positive self talk.

I hope in whatever you may be walking through when you read this, that you know you aren’t alone.  And when you have a setback, a day where you think “why even bother, I’m a failure”, you remember you aren’t alone.  I’m so thankful for my community that lifts me up, checks in on me, and where I can serve others as well- this is important for success- embrace them.  I’m so thankful that the last few years have been prepping me to curl up in the arms of my Creator.  He knows me- the good and the bad.  He loves me.  He comforts me.  And afterwards He encourages me to be strong and courageous and keep going.  But it’s not just me.  Each of us is made in the image of God and we all matter.

And you can do it too.  Keep going.  Your tears are justified but they don’t hold you back!!


Monthly Pinterest Post

Pinterest & FOMO

Maybe this Monthly Pinterest post can count for both April and May?  Oops…. Consistency isn’t my jam.  ANYWAY!

For Mother’s Day we designed a backdrop for the Moms at church to sit with their kids and get a photo made.  It was lovely being the one who could go through those and post them– as a mom who loves photos herself, it makes my heart happy to know an opportunity was given. Image may contain: 2 people, people smiling, people sitting  Continue reading

In My Soul, Raising Teens

My Summer List..Strong & Courageous

It’s already here! The last day of school…..I want/need/plan to be extremely intentional this summer.  Throughout the 10 weeks Kai has of summer, 5 of them are with me…and her brother…and her stepdad….and her beloved dogs Willie & Honey (Willie sleeps in her room even when she’s gone; in her bed when she’s here).  And…Then. Life. Flips. Upside. Down. Continue reading

In My Soul

Sipping Wine. Alone. At a Table Set for 10.

You can read this title a couple ways:

  1. Luxurious.  How did this mom get time alone?…and why don’t I have any?!
  2. Sad.  That poor girl.  Was she stood up? Why is she alone at such a big table?
  3. Wino.  Wow.  That’s sad.  Some people just can’t control their drinking.

Let me tell you; it was luxurious!

As I continue down this journey of parenting, I’m FIRMLY aware that it’s important imperative I take care of me.   Continue reading

In My Soul, Raising Teens

A Moms How To: 13 Reasons Why

My Mom heart is just sick.

Over a month ago, Kai’s SGL (small group leader, through our Middle School church program) texted me asking if Kai was watching or talking about a show called 13 Reasons Why.  Nope- never heard of it, either of us.  Applause to Bridget for staying on top of teen trends!!

Time passes….life gets busy.  Kelly & I attend a parent workshop and they mention it.  I see Kai for about 2 hours between that and our back to back separate trips…. it doesn’t come up.  Then— Continue reading