Raising Teens, Raising Tots

I’m Not Married To Him…or Her

1 Corinthians 13:4-5: You hear this passage a lot in weddings. “Love is…..” beautiful. Meaningful. Completely fits the moment of 2 people coming together forever.
And then another love comes along. In my case a love that baked for 9 months; twice.  The love that comes with being a Mom.

Two favorite moments:

  1. At a wedding when the groom first gets a look at his bride (yes, that’s also from 27 Dresses!)
  2. Whenever I see the deep joy and love in Kelly’s eyes as he looks at Colt. {insert heart melting}

In my #AdoredChaos, I spend each day parenting two uniquely strong-willed children.  In a moment of weakness one afternoon, I escaped to my room and fell at the side of my bed on my knees to journal a prayer and spend a moment in silence.  I have resolved to do everything I can not to lose my mind temper and be a better Mom.  Then I read this passage.

Recently it has become abundantly clear that God was stretching me in patience, a fruit of the spirit that I don’t eat enough of.  I am passionate! I make quick decisions! I fall in between the generation that knew how to wait and the one who wants immediate gratification– I’m basically the generation where the bridge broke down when patience was crossing.  So now, of course, my patience is being tested every day. (our hands aren’t for hitting, put down your phone, is that how we eat our food, are you sure that’s the right way to manage your time…) Moms!!  You know– it’s the script coming out of your mouth- some call it nagging- before you can stop yourself.  We all have this dialogue right?

Kindness isn’t being nice.  Kindness is telling the truth in love.  Sometimes I feel unkind and am at a loss on how to respond. I’m so thankful for tools being taught to me.  Practice, practice, practice….

Questions do creep in…WHY? This isn’t fair, that Mom gets to…. I work to keep envy in check. I do think he’s better than everyone else. 😉 She’s smart and she’s beautiful and she’s strong… 😍 I can be boastful at times, even if it’s just in my heart.

 

im-a-great-momFor over a decade, I have truly felt that I’m a great Mom.  I would seek guidance when I needed it, but overall, I thought parenting came pretty naturally to me and I’ve had good examples ahead of me.  Conceited? No….confident. But lately, humility had to kick in to learn how to help him. Maybe I didn’t have all the answers and parenting can be harder than I thought.  Improperly….. rude.  There are times I wish I could take back my words, passive aggressive comments or pointing out a mistake before celebrating the good.

To a fault, I put my kids before myself and my husband.  I’ve had to learn to be a little more selfish and set aside time for me, time for him with dates and quality time.  I’ve actually had to ask his forgiveness for this.  And a lot of that “me time” is from 4-6am or 9-11pm….and an occasional escape with a book or with girlfriends….OK! And MAYBE Social Media perusing…GUILTY!

I lose my temper when provoked.  Coupled with lack of patience, I have taught myself to walk away and breathe for a moment…20 moments.  Some days I succeed– star on the chart for me!! Some days I fight not to scream, yell and fly off the handle.

And a list of wrong-doings.  I don’t like when others keeps lists like that about me, but I’m guilty of doing it to myself- and my kids.  Bringing up a past mistake in the middle of a discussion or argument…we need to learn from the past in order to move forward – no list needed.  Grace.  Forgiveness. Growth.

After all this, what I know to be true is 💗💗I LOVE MY KIDS!💗💗  God’s word challenges me to love them better.  To make ME better.  To serve Him, by serving THEM.  With a village of other moms around me, I will love them patiently & kindly.  I hope you’re finding that village here too in your own #AdoredChaos!

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In My Soul

Ocean tides….

I’ve said it before I’m surrounded by strong, inspirational women- and I LOVE it!!  Some  organically cross paths with me, some I seek out, sometimes both.  I recently had a take away from Coletta Smith, the new Mrs. MHC Pastor’s Wife 😍 “There are things that can be toxic for us during  a season; they aren’t necessarily bad, they may even be good things, but things that aren’t good for us at that time.  Are we willing to allow God to move us to a different place for that season?”  Mandy’s on the move ladies (and gents!)…. Continue reading

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Monthly Pinterest Post

February Pinteresting

Photo Credit(sign): PhraseIt on Etsy

My garage is filled with totes- Thirty-One, plastic…. all kinds. This one Kelly almost threw away, but the RRR’er in me saved it from the dump and I found a purpose finally! (It was dirty…… oh my….)

I also found a bag of dirt we never used (it’s lawn dirt… maybe not the best choice if he was into eating dirt….) but a critter had chewed a hole in. It was just sitting on the side of the house– maybe for over a year… but who’s counting?! Also saved from a trip to the dump.

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In My Soul

5 Reasons I Love Hillary

One of the highlights of my last corporate job, was travelling to Nashville for a Premier Lady Antebellum event in the fall of 2012.  It was nice to explore a city unfamiliar to me and awesome to meet a voice I admired and Adored, Hillary Scott!! *I also met this Super Fun couple named Reese & Kelly who are now married. Mrs. Kelly Kelly & I remain friends to this day via FaceBook! 🙂

I got this fun video clip with Hillary and found out that night that she was newly pregnant and later ended up giving birth to little Eisele was born on my birthday (July 22) in 2013! I didn’t know it that fall day, I was pregnant too but unfortunately didn’t carry those babies to full term (read more of that story here).  I know if we’d had more time, Hillary and I would be BFFs.  She’s my kind of people!

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Organization

AdoredChaos in My Home

You guys— let’s get real!  AdoredChaos describes so many pieces of my life.  It’s the core of who I am, the raising of my kids and often the state of my home.  I TRY to be organized..and in some areas I am, but I’m always looking to improve.  When I post “organizing posts” it’s not because I’m a professional organizer, but because I accept who I am and I know I’m not alone out there! 🙂

As I look in on my kids rooms, my bed room, the upstairs hallway…my office…. (YIKES!) Continue reading

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Raising Tots

Sleepy Boy, Why Won’t you Sleep?

This boy fights me and always has on sleep.  As I write now, overwhelmed and questioning my parenting (unjustly–this isn’t my “fault”), we’re sitting in a Starbucks parking lot with a sleepy song on repeat as I have once again driven him around to get to sleep.  45 minutes into a nap attempt (same routine as always), he was kicking the wall, poking my eyes (I lay down by him and rub his back, often dozing off myself), and began biting me.  That was it. In the car we went.  I have spent many miles and much gas the last 2 1/2 years helping Colt sleep.

As frustrating as this feels, it’s that I don’t understand and I can’t fix what I don’t understand.  We are on a journey to discovering what makes Colt tick.  {Insert potential Mom guilt}

I. Don’t. Understand. My. Child.

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