Sleepy Boy, Why Won’t you Sleep?

This boy fights me and always has on sleep.  As I write now, overwhelmed and questioning my parenting (unjustly–this isn’t my “fault”), we’re sitting in a Starbucks parking lot with a sleepy song on repeat as I have once again driven him around to get to sleep.  45 minutes into a nap attempt (same routine as always), he was kicking the wall, poking my eyes (I lay down by him and rub his back, often dozing off myself), and began biting me.  That was it. In the car we went.  I have spent many miles and much gas the last 2 1/2 years helping Colt sleep.

As frustrating as this feels, it’s that I don’t understand and I can’t fix what I don’t understand.  We are on a journey to discovering what makes Colt tick.  {Insert potential Mom guilt}

I. Don’t. Understand. My. Child.

Colt had sleep issues since he was a baby.  I read books, blogs, took other’s advice.  I modified to get the routines I have managed to put into place and spend a lot of time with him getting him there.  Sometimes it takes the aid of melatonin- and you can just watch his poor little body go “ahhhhh…..relax…..and sleep”.  Besides a few phases as normal with kids, once he’s asleep, he sleeps pretty well.  It’s GETTING there that’s the biggest struggle.

You’ll hear me say this to other Moms- ‘Advocate for your child, you know your child better than anyone else.’  Yes, kind of, I guess so, yes.  But what if I don’t UNDERSTAND my child? After not being able to contain himself in order to complete a full day of preschool through this start of 2017, I’m learning there’s more to this than just not going to sleep well.  With the advice of experts around us who love him deeply, we have just started the process of bringing some more experts in to help us understand him better (which I will carefully blog about along the way).  For now all I can do is help keep him safe and tell him I love him.

Through my love of pod-casting, Sally Clarkson’s name kept coming up to me.  I’ve checked her out a few times and then recently heard her again on The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey.  I’m excited to pick this book up-Different: The Story of an Outside-The-Box Kid and the Mom Who Loved Him– although he’s only 2 1/2, I know he’s different from me and the energy doesn’t stop.  Written with her son Nathan, who is grown now, but was an outside-the-box kid who struggled with OCD & ADHD all his life.  I’m looking forward to being inspired by their journey of a Mom who loved her son so well!

So Mamas…. here’s what I’ve learned.

1- When your kid isn’t doing what everyone else’s kids seem to be doing (you probably see that on FaceBook/Instagram or while scrolling Pinterest) don’t compare.  Your kid isn’t theirs.

2- Love your kids as best you can with the tools you have. Try new things, then try again….

3- Listen to the experts around you.  There sometimes is more to it than we think.

4- Find a safe place.  To escape, to vent, to laugh- and recharge.  You can’t take care of others on an empty tank (always remember the oxygen mask speech!)

What a special gift from God Colt is.  I love his laughter, his tender heart to hug and love and know that it will be worth it to love him well….and help us both to get some sleep! 🙂

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